


Say you'll remember me

by Rosetylars



Category: Cricket RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amnesia AU, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24227398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosetylars/pseuds/Rosetylars
Summary: “Oh my god, you’re awake.”Only then did Pat seem to realise he wasn’t alone. He looked at Mitch. “Where am I?”“Baby, you’re in hospital. You’ve been asleep since yesterday afternoon,” Mitch explained gently.“Sorry, I don’t... do we know each other?”***An AU in which Pat has amnesia.
Relationships: Mitch Marsh/Pat Cummins, Tim Paine/Steve Smith, mentions of
Comments: 11
Kudos: 14





	Say you'll remember me

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU, but it is still set in the same universe as my other fics.

“Patty?” Mitch poked Pat’s ribs. 

Pat had been nearly asleep, and he turned to face Mitch with a grumble. 

“Mm?”

“I was just... thinking...” Mitch mumbled. 

Pat cracked an eye open to show that he was listening. “What about?”

“This is gonna sound crazy,” Mitch warned. 

Pat sighed. “Mitchy, we’ve been together for eight years. Nothing you come out with can surprise me any more,” he chuckled. 

Mitch bit his lip, still obviously distressed by whatever was on his mind. 

“Baby, just tell me what you’re worried about,” Pat suggested gently. He reached his hand out and put it on Mitch’s own, on the bed between them. 

Mitch took a deep breath, as if he were about to reveal the world’s most important secret. “Patty, would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Pat blinked, waiting for the second half of a joke that never came. He burst out laughing. 

This obviously wasn’t the reaction Mitch was looking for, and he pouted, hurt, shifting to roll over and face away from Pat again. Pat caught his shoulder, though, keeping them face to face. 

“I take that as a no,” Mitch huffed, clearly offended. 

“Baby, are you serious?” Pat asked, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. 

Mitch frowned. “Answer the question, Patrick.”

Pat swallowed, trying to buy himself some time. He sighed. “Mitchy, I would love you no matter what. No matter what universe we were in, I know we would end up together. There’s nobody else I’d ever love as much as I love you,” he said gently.

Mitch met his eyes. “Even if I were a worm?”

“Yes, baby,” Pat laughed. “Even if you were a worm.” To prove his point, he lifted Mitch’s left hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his engagement band. 

Mitch seemed satisfied with that, and he curled into Pat’s body, finally ready to sleep. 

***  
That had been three weeks ago. 

Today, though, Mitch sat by Pat’s bedside in hospital, feeling like nothing was real. He was desperate to wake up, snuggled in bed with Pat, and realise with relief that this had all just been a horrible dream. 

His brain practically short circuited every time he remembered the last few hours. 

***  
They had been at a training session. The squad played some modified footy as a warmup, and everyone had been having fun. When they got into the real training, Mitch was bowling at Pat in the nets. 

They were having a laugh, and Pat was critiquing every one of Mitch’s deliveries in the way only he could. 

“Come on, Mitchy, Mabel could show me better inswing,” Pat had teased, that beautiful smile still visible through the grille of his helmet. 

“Stop making me laugh,” Mitch protested weakly once he had made his way back to the top of his mark. 

If anyone else had have commented on Mitch’s bowling like that, he would have taken it to heart. Pat always knew how far he could push, and the little digs always made Mitch work harder. 

“Let’s see if you can top 120 k’s with this one,” Pat teased, tongue between his teeth. 

“I’ll show you over 120,” Mitch laughed, running in. 

That had been his critical mistake. 

He shouldn’t have ever bowled when he was distracted. 

If he had have taken just an extra second to get his giggles out, maybe what happened next would have been prevented. 

Laughter bubbling in his chest, Mitch wasn’t focused as he released the ball from his grip. 

He practically saw it in slow motion. It landed far, far too short, and Mitch knew what was going to happen next. 

Pat turned away reflexively, but it wasn’t enough. The ball struck him viciously in the back of the head, right under his helmet. 

He fell to the ground. 

Mitch had never run so quickly in his life. He was by Pat’s side in an instant. 

“Patty?” Mitch said, voice frantic. Pat didn’t respond. His eyes were shut. “Baby, can you hear me?”

When Pat didn’t respond to that, either, Mitch’s panic went into overdrive. By now, the team doctors had rushed over. JL was urging the rest of the boys to stay back, but Mitch’s teammates were just beyond the nets, craning to see what was going on. 

“Sorry, Mitchell, can you just sit back a fraction?” One of the doctors asked gently. 

Mitch had been crouched over Pat, willing him to open his eyes and tell Mitch he had been playing a sick joke. 

The horror in Mitch’s stomach told him this wasn’t a joke at all. 

Mitch tried to move back a touch, reaching for Pat’s unresponsive hand and holding it between both of his own. 

The two doctors conferred quietly, but Mitch couldn’t make out what they were saying over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. One doctor pried off Pat’s helmet, and that seemed to spur Mitch into action. He leant over Pat, doctors be damned, and put his forehead against Pat’s own.

“Baby, I know you can hear me,” Mitch murmured, voice breaking. “Please wake up. I’m so sorry, it was an accident and I- I love you so much. Please wake up. We’ve got a wedding to plan, we-“

By now, JL had joined Mitch, Pat and the doctors at the practice crease. He was the only one who would be able to talk Mitch down. He placed a caring hand on Mitch’s back. 

“Mitchy, mate,” JL said very gently. 

Mitch looked up at his coach, eyes filling with tears. This was real. This was actually happening. 

“They need to take him to hospital. An ambulance is on the way,” JL explained as calmly as he could. 

Mitch’s eyes were full of fear. “Can I go with him?”

JL exhaled heavily. “They probably won’t let you in the ambulance, mate.”

Mitch was shaking, now, beyond panic. “I have to go, I’ll drive there, I’ll-“

JL squeezed Mitch’s shoulder to try to calm him. “No, there’s no way you’re driving in this state,” he reasoned. 

“Please,” Mitch sobbed, tears running down his face. “I have to go with him. This is my fault. He’s the love of my life. I- I wish it were me unconscious instead of him!”

That broke JL’s heart, too. He pulled Mitch in for a hug, both to comfort him and to block his view of his fiancé, still unresponsive on the ground. 

“Ambulance is only a couple of minutes away,” one of the doctors told them. 

JL released Mitch, and Mitch looked like he was about to faint. 

“Come on, mate, I’ll drive you to the hospital.” 

***  
Mitch had been so grateful that JL drove him. Now that so many hours had passed, he could look back and realise how dangerous it would have been if he were behind the wheel in his state. JL had needed to get back to the team, so Mitch had been alone by Pat’s side ever since Pat’s tests were completed. 

Mitch was thankfully forced out of his recollection as a nurse walked in. She found Mitch by Pat’s bedside, holding Pat’s hand between his own, his head leaning forward against the warmth of Pat’s hip as he lay on the hospital bed. 

It must have been a sorry sight, because she exhaled audibly, making Mitch sit up straight. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said gently. “I’m Katie. Are you Patrick’s...?”

“Fiancé,” Mitch filled in, holding his left hand up to display his ring. He tried to smile, but his heart definitely wasn’t in it, and she understood that. “I’m Mitch,” he added, when he realised he hadn’t introduced himself. 

She offered an optimistic smile. “Nice to meet you, Mitch. I need to warn you that a doctor is coming to join us shortly. He has some news on Patrick’s condition,” she explained, face falling. 

Mitch’s heart stopped. “That doesn’t sound good,” he worried. “Do you know what’s going on? Is he okay?” Mitch started to panic again. 

“The doctor will explain everything,” Katie said apologetically. 

Mitch rested his head by Pat’s hip again, wishing this nightmare would end. 

It wasn’t long before the doctor arrived, and Mitch sat up, dread filling his stomach. 

“Katie tells me you’re Mitchell, Patrick’s fiancé?” The doctor asked. 

“Yeah, that’s me,” Mitch replied dumbly, lost for words. 

The doctor sighed. “The good news is, Patrick will make a full physical recovery,” he began. 

Mitch furrowed his eyebrows. “Physical?”

“As in, his body and ability will be unharmed.”

“That’s good, right?” Mitch asked. 

The doctor grimaced. “Mitchell, I’m afraid Patrick’s head injury is quite severe. At the very least, he has concussion. But the tests we’ve run show some moderate brain trauma. He won’t be brain damaged, but he may suffer significant concussion, or even some amnesia.”

“Amnesia? Like the song?” Mitch asked. He regretted it the moment the words fell from his lips, but he was in too much shock to care. 

The doctor gave a humourless half smile. “I’m not familiar with it. But Patrick should wake up soon. Do you two live together?”

“Pretty much,” Mitch replied. 

“Okay. We’ll keep him in overnight for some more monitoring, but in the morning if he is awake and stable, there isn’t much more we can do for him apart from let him rest,” the doctor explained. 

Mitch nodded. Things sounded mostly positive. He would physically be fine, and maybe he would only have a concussion. They could deal with that. 

About an hour later, Mitch rang Shaun.

“Mate, I’ve been so worried about you,” Shaun said. 

“I’ll be okay. It’s Patty I’m worried about. Hang on, how did you know what was happening?”

“JL called me after he dropped you at the hospital,” Shaun explained. “I was so shocked that I nearly crashed the car with the kids in the back,” he admitted. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Shaun,” Mitch mumbled. He didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he were the one responsible for two horrible accidents in one day. 

“Don’t worry about it. What has the doctor said?” Shaun asked. 

Mitch told him, and Shaun gasped. “God, mate, I really hope he wakes up soon and it’s just a nasty concussion. Amnesia sounds serious,” Shaun worried. 

At that point, Mitch let himself consider the thing that had been worrying him since the doctor’s discussion. “Shaun, what if he doesn’t remember me?”

Shaun exhaled heavily. “Mate, you two have been together for eight and a half years. You’re part of him. He’ll remember you, Mitchy. I promise.”

***  
Shaun had never broken a promise to Mitch before, but this time, he wasn’t in control of what happened.

It had been mid afternoon when Pat was struck at training, and though the doctors assured Mitch he had been stable, Pat didn’t wake up until early the following morning. 

Mitch had stayed right by his side, holding Pat’s hand. His back and neck were aching because of the horrible chair he was in, and he’d only dozed in patches of ten minutes with his head on Pat’s bed. 

When Pat started to stir, Mitch’s heart leapt. He kept quiet, not wanting to worry the younger man. The last thing he would have known was preparing to face Mitch’s bowling. Mitch shuddered at the thought. 

Pat wriggled around before finally opening his eyes. He looked very confused. 

“Oh my god, you’re awake,” Mitch breathed. His emotions were heightened due to the shock of the last 24 hours, and his lack of sleep, and tears filled his eyes. 

Only then did Pat seem to realise he wasn’t alone. He looked at Mitch. “Where am I?”

“Baby, you’re in hospital. You’ve been asleep since yesterday afternoon,” Mitch explained gently, not wanting to frighten him. 

At that point, Katie reappeared. “Mitch, would you mind waiting outside for a few minutes? Maybe you could get some fresh air. You’ve been stuck in here for so long,” she said kindly. 

Mitch was confused. “But he just woke up-“

“I understand, but this can be a frightening time. Let me speak to him for a moment,” she said gently. 

Mitch did not want to leave, but something in the look on Katie’s face told him that it was for the best. 

With a look back at Pat, he left the room, walking down the hallway. He found a vending machine and searched his pocket for some spare coins, realising he hadn’t eaten since lunch before training yesterday. Nearly a whole day ago. 

He ate a Kit-Kat, figuring he had more pressing things to worry about than nutrition at the moment. He returned to Pat’s room a few minutes later, but Katie met him outside the door before he could go in. 

“Mitch, I don’t want to alarm you,” she warned. 

Mitch’s stomach fell. “What’s wrong?” 

“Pat seems to be quite well, considering he’s been... asleep, for so long. But he has no recollection of recent events.”

“Oh, so, like, yesterday?” Mitch asked. 

Katie grimaced, looking away. “Mitch, he asked about going to school. I asked him how old he was, and he told me he was seventeen.”

“Oh my god,” Mitch breathed, feeling light headed. He reached for the wall for some support. 

Katie looked crestfallen. “When did you guys meet?” She asked hopefully. 

“We got together when he was eighteen,” Mitch replied. “Surely he’ll remember me, we’ve been together for a third of his life, we’re getting married, I don’t understand-“ 

Mitch had grown frantic, and Katie gave him a sympathetic look. “Mitch, I really hope he recognises you,” she said. Mitch knew there was a second half to her sentence that she kept to herself, but he pushed that thought aside as he opened the door. 

“I’ll give you some privacy,” she said gently. “Good luck, Mitch. I’m really sorry.”

Mitch walked into Pat’s room. He was sitting up, picking at a sandwich that had been placed on a tray in front of him. His eyes looked vacant, and Mitch’s heart dropped. 

“Patty?” Mitch said gently, sitting back down in his seat by Pat’s bedside. 

Mitch knew by the small flash of confusion on Pat’s face that this wasn’t his Pat. 

“Sorry, I don’t... do we know each other?” Pat asked.

Mitch couldn’t help the wave of tears that sprang to his eyes at Pat’s confusion. “Patty, it’s me. Mitch. Please tell me you remember?” 

Pat frowned, thinking hard. He looked terribly frightened. “Are you from school or cricket?”

A tear rolled down Mitch’s cheek, and Pat seemed distressed that he was upsetting him. 

“You’re finished school, Patty. You’re 27. We met playing state cricket nine years ago,” Mitch explained, heartbroken. 

Pat scratched his head. “I’m really sorry, Mitch. The nice lady said I hit my head and I might have lost some memories,” he said. His words were spoken with innocence, and Mitch’s heart ached. Mitch felt like his whole world had crumbled around him. He couldn’t breathe. 

Pat bit into his sandwich. After a couple of moments, he asked, “Where are my parents?”

“They’re at home in Sydney,” Mitch replied. He realised with a jolt that Pat must have thought they were still his emergency contacts, despite Mitch being the person Pat listed these days. 

Pat frowned. “Then where are we?”

“Perth,” Mitch replied. 

“That’s crazy, why?” Pat asked. 

“Because we had a white ball training camp here over the last couple of weeks,” Mitch explained. 

“Hang on, I still play cricket at 27?” Pat asked, dumbfounded. 

Mitch couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and he huffed a wet laugh. “Patty, you’re the number one ranked Test bowler in the world,” Mitch told him. “You’re absolutely brilliant.”

Pat seemed genuinely pleased by this, and he smiled for the first time since he’d woken up. “Are you kidding? Tests as in... for Australia?”

“Well, you certainly don’t play for England,” Mitch teased, making Pat laugh. 

The sound made Mitch feel at home for just a moment, before reality came rushing back. 

“Mitch, I’ve got to ask... are we mates?” Pat asked, seeming to be unsure how to phrase the question. 

Mitch had known this was coming. He took a deep breath. “Patty, you and I have been in a relationship for eight years. We got engaged at the end of the last Ashes series,” he explained gently, heart breaking more with every word. 

“Oh,” Pat breathed. “We’re... engaged?”

“Yeah,” Mitch said. “You asked me to marry you.”

“Wow, I’m so sorry that I don’t remember. It must be so hard for you,” Pat said sympathetically, a thoughtful frown on his face. “They told me I was going home. Is that with you?”

Mitch nodded, unable to speak past the knot in his throat. 

“Oh god, I don’t have any of my stuff with me, my glasses, my ID, my phone-“ Pat worried, looking around the mostly empty room. 

“I have those in your training backpack,” Mitch reassured him gently. “And everything else that you brought to Perth is at home. You’re safe, Patty. Everything is okay.”

Pat seemed to relax a little, at that. “Oh, okay. Thanks for looking out for me.”

“Always, Patty.”

***  
Mitch felt very strange showing Pat around the house that they had shared every time Pat was in Perth for the last five years. 

Pat was shocked by the size of their TV, and when he saw his own phone, he was confused. 

“Is this like a new iPod touch?” Pat asked. 

“It’s just an iPhone,” Mitch shrugged. 

“Oh, my mum wouldn’t let me have one of them. I have a Motorola. iPhones are new from what I can remember,” Pat replied. 

Mitch just shook his head, kind of disturbed. “Well this one is yours,” he handed the phone to him. 

”Where’s the button?” Pat asked.

Mitch stared at him blankly. “What button?”

“Like, on the iPod there’s the button down here that you press and it takes you to the home screen,” Pat frowned. 

“It doesn’t have one, Patty,” Mitch replied, exasperated. Mitch tapped the screen to show him how to wake it. 

The wallpaper was a recent picture of both of them from the night they celebrated retaining the Ashes. Mitch remembered the moment Tim had taken it for them. In the picture, Pat was sitting sideways on Mitch’s lap, his hands either side of Mitch’s face as he kissed his cheek. Mitch was grinning fondly, looking at Pat instead of at the camera. The picture was a bit of a mess, but Pat had ended up loving it so much that he had set it as his wallpaper.

Pat looked at it, stunned. “Wow, he must really love you,” Pat said gently.

“Who?” Mitch asked, lost.

Pat pointed at the screen. “Him. The other me. Future me. Or now me, apparently, I just can’t remember the last what, ten years?” Pat tore his hands back through his hair, frustrated.

Mitch sighed. “Patty, it’s okay. I know you must be confused. Maybe a rest will help?”

Despite having been asleep for so long, Pat looked exhausted. Mitch wanted to kiss the frown off of his forehead, but this wasn’t his Pat. 

Pat sighed, resigned. “Maybe it will help,” he agreed.

Mitch reached for his hand by habit, but dropped his hand when he realised. “Come on, I’ll take you to our- your room.”

Mitch handed Pat the pyjamas he had been wearing the night before last. When Pat was changed and settled on his side of the bed, Mitch could almost let himself believe for one second that everything was normal.

Mitch was about to bid him a good rest and leave, but Pat said his name.

“Hm?” Mitch turned to face him.

“This phone… I feel like I’m spying by looking through it,” Pat admitted.

Mitch shook his head. “Patty, it’s yours. The photos, the messages, they’re all yours.”

Pat seemed to accept this, but then he had another problem. “I don’t know the password,” he admitted quietly.

“Oh, it’s Mitch, all lowercase,” Mitch chuckled. But it’ll recognise your face and rarely ask you for it anyway.”

“Wow, that’s like magic,” Pat marvelled. “Thanks, Mitch.”

“No worries. Maybe the pictures will help you remember. Or at least piece things together. Hope you have a good rest,” he said gently.

***  
Things were slow over the next few days. JL had excused them both from training once Mitch explained the whole amnesia situation. Mitch had filled Pat’s parents in, and they were very concerned but relieved that Mitch was there for him.

Mitch, though, wasn’t coping well. More than anything, he felt lonely. Pat was there with him, but he didn’t understand the little jokes Mitch would bring up, and Mitch knew Pat was scared, too. It couldn’t be easy losing ten years of your life.

The first thing that really hurt Mitch was that this Pat wasn’t comfortable wearing his engagement band. Mitch found it on his bedside table and felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. 

Mitch wouldn’t take his off, though. He was still engaged to his Pat, no matter the circumstances. 

Mitch had also been sleeping in the spare bed. Pat didn’t say anything, but Mitch knew it would feel pretty weird to share a bed with someone you thought you had never met until a few days ago. Mitch absolutely hated it. The bed was cold without Pat’s body heat, and he kept forgetting to set alarms because he was so used to Pat keeping him organised. He had never realised how lucky he really was.

Pat had been poring through his phone as if it were a textbook, trying to piece together the background of who he supposedly was.

Some of his questions had been entertaining, though. Over breakfast one morning, Pat said, “I assume Ponting isn’t the Australian captain any more?”

Mitch laughed, at that. “No. He retired a long time back. Michael Clarke was the captain after him. He’s retired, too. We don’t like him,” Mitch informed Pat.

“We don’t? I know him from NSW,” Pat replied. 

That had surprised Mitch. He’d forgotten that Pat still had memories of his under 19s career with NSW.

Mitch shook his head. “Long story, but he isn’t our favourite person. After him the captain was Steve Smith.”

Pat was taken aback, by that. “What? The spinner?”

Mitch looked at him as if he had six heads. “Patty, he’s the number one Test batsman in the world,” he replied.

“Oh,” Pat breathed. “He was just a spinner back home. His batting looked pretty shit, to be honest.”

Mitch laughed at that. He would have to text Steve and Tim about that. They would find it hilarious.

“So is he still the captain? He isn’t that much older than us,” Pat pointed out.

Here came the tough part. Mitch grimaced. “Some shit went down a couple of years ago in South Africa. There was sandpaper involved. He took the blame and got sacked as captain. He was banned for a year.”

“Oh my god,” Pat replied, shocked. “Is he back in the team now?”

“Yeah, he’s better than ever. He’s recently engaged, too. To our current captain,” Mitch told Pat, a smile making its way onto his face.

“This sounds like a pantomime. Are you serious?” Pat asked.

“A hundred percent,” Mitch confirmed. 

“Who is it? The current captain?” 

“Tim Paine,” Mitch replied.

Pat shook his head. “Nup, never heard of him, sorry.”

“He’s one of our best friends, Patty. He’s a brilliant captain. He brought our team back from hell and now we’re the number one Test team in the world.”

“Sounds like a hell of a story,” Pat commented.

Mitch sighed. It sure was. If only Pat could remember it.

***  
Mitch had the idea, a few nights after Pat’s accident, to mirror his phone to the TV and explain some of the memories behind some of his photos.

As he had been with most technology, Pat was shocked by what Mitch could do. “How did you get the photos on the screen?”

“Just by pressing the little square,” Mitch replied.

Pat looked as impressed as if Mitch had pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

The first photo Mitch brought up was one that used to embarrass him. It was a photo Shaun had taken of them on their very first international tour to South Africa, when Pat had been 18 and Mitch was nearly 20. The picture was taken from behind them on the team bus. Pat was asleep with his head on Mitch’s shoulder, and Mitch had put his head on top of Pat’s, asleep too.

“My brother took this,” Mitch explained, before he explained the story behind the picture.

“Oh, Shaun,” Pat recalled, remembering what Mitch had told him in the last couple of days. “Are we- I mean, were we together by then?” Pat asked.

Mitch tapped his phone to check the date of the picture. “No. Almost. We got together the day before my twentieth birthday.”

“Oh,” Pat breathed.

The next picture was one from Australia's 2015 World Cup win. Pat and Mitch both had their medals around their necks, beers in their hands, arms tightly around each other’s necks at they grinned at the camera.

This picture was still one of Mitch’s favourites.

“This was after our 2015 World Cup win,” Mitch explained.

Pat’s jaw dropped. “Hang on, we played in a winning World Cup final?”

Mitch grimaced. “Actually, we were both dropped for the final. But it was still one of the best nights of our lives,” Mitch explained, feeling the colour rise in his cheeks at the memories.

Pat seemed disappointed to hear that they had been dropped, but Mitch had already found another photo he wanted to share.

It was from only a few weeks ago. They were in Shaun’s backyard, and in the picture, Pat had Mabel on his hip. She had both of her little hands in Pat’s hair, yanking it, laughing. Pat’s eyes were closed, and he was grinning fondly. 

Mitch loved the picture so much that he wanted to print and frame it.

“That’s my niece,” Mitch said gently. 

“She seems so comfortable around me,” Pat noticed. 

“Of course, Patty. You’ve been around her whole life. She loves you. You were my date to Bec and Shaun’s wedding,” he told him. “The kids… whenever you’re in Sydney, they’re always asking me when Uncle Pat is coming back.”

“Wow,” Pat breathed. He studied the image for a few more moments before sitting forward, elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands. “Fuck, I wish I could remember. This guy doesn’t know how good he has it.”

Mitch rubbed his back automatically, hating that he was hurting. “What do you mean?”

“This… other version of me. He’s so fucking lucky. He’s marrying this gorgeous guy. They’re so in love. He’s got the best job in the world and he’s actually good at what he does. He’s getting paid to play cricket around the world. I don’t… I feel like I’m stealing his life,” Pat mumbled, the words muffled by his hands.

“Patty, you’re not stealing anything. This is your life. You’re going to wake up one day soon and you’re going to remember. I-“ Mitch’s voice broke, “I don’t even want to imagine that you’re not going to remember. You will,” he declared, but it seemed as if he were reassuring himself more than anything.

“I want to remember, I just… I can’t,” Pat replied, frustrated. 

Mitch couldn’t take it any more. His heart was aching. He stopped sharing his phone to the TV and stood up from the couch.

“I just need some time to think,” Mitch told Pat, not glancing backwards before heading to the spare room and shutting the door. 

Mitch didn’t know how long he was sitting on the bed, head in his hands. Tears leaked from his eyes. Everything seemed to hit him at once, and he couldn’t hold his emotions back. Pat was struggling, but so was Mitch. What if Mitch never got his Pat back? What if it was his fault? He couldn’t breathe under the weight of it all.

Mitch was half waiting for Pat to walk through the bedroom door and wrap him up in his arms, holding Mitch to his chest as he cried, like he always did when Mitch was really struggling.

But he never came.

Mitch fell asleep after a while, overcome by exhaustion.

As was the new normal, he slept in late because there was no alarm to wake him up. He forced himself to get out of bed and wash his face, because it was salty with dried tears. He felt like a wreck. He showered in the guest ensuite, not wanting to return to the shower that he and Pat used to share.

He found Pat outside on the back verandah, sipping a coffee. Mitch’s heart lurched when he realised Pat hadn’t made him one. His Pat had made him a coffee every morning they were together in the last eight years.

Mitch begrudgingly made himself his own coffee and sat down across from Pat at the outdoor table, wordlessly. He screwed up his face when he realised the coffee wasn’t as nice as the ones Pat made.

“Something wrong?” Pat asked quietly.

Mitch sighed. “I don’t know how he makes them so much nicer than I do,” he replied without thinking. 

“He… as in the other me? The one you love?” Pat asked sharply.

Mitch frowned, hurt. “Patty,” he warned, but Pat just shook his head.

“Forget it,” Pat sighed, slumping back in his seat. The irony of his words was not lost on Mitch. His heart hurt.

“I know he’s in there,” Mitch mumbled. “In your head. In your heart. We just have to find him.”

Pat sighed, resigned. “I really don’t know.” He didn’t speak for a long time, and Mitch drank his boring coffee. After a while, Pat spoke again. “I had a dream last night. We were both in the bed, the same one I’ve been sleeping in,” he began.

Mitch nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“I was nearly asleep and you poked my ribs. You looked really upset about something. And then you asked me if I’d love you if you were a snake or something, I can’t really remember,” Pat explained, as if it were just a funny story.

Mitch’s heart stopped. “A worm,” he corrected gently, a lump forming in his throat.

“Oh, yeah, that was it,” Pat chuckled. “And I told you that no matter what universe we were in-“

“We’d end up together,” they said at the same time.

Mitch choked back tears, and Pat was looking at him, wide eyed.

“Did that-?”

“It really happened,” Mitch finished wetly. “A few weeks before the accident.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Pat said softly, standing up from his seat. “Come here,” he encouraged, opening his arms for the first time since his accident.

Mitch took a few steps around the table and let himself fall into Pat’s embrace. He dropped his head to Pat’s chest, breathing him in. It had only been a few weeks, and they had lived apart for longer periods than that during their relationship, but Mitch felt like he hadn’t touched Pat in months. He smelt like Mitch’s Pat, but there was a hesitancy in his embrace that didn’t belong. The tears broke free, and Mitch sobbed into Pat’s T-shirt. He didn’t have the heart to tell Pat that the shirt had actually been his, a long time ago.

Pat rubbed Mitch’s back soothingly, but Mitch was broken. “I miss you so much, Patty,” he sobbed. “Please come back to me.”

***  
Over the next few weeks, Mitch had to return to training. Pat joined in for a couple of sessions here and there, and even though they had been pre-warned, his amnesia spooked a lot of the boys. Josh Hazlewood took it the hardest.

“He doesn’t remember me? We’ve been mates since we were teenagers,” Josh said, shocked and dejected.

Mitch squeezed Josh’s shoulder. “Mate, he doesn’t remember me. We’ve been together for eight years. It’s fucking hard.”

Josh hugged Mitch, and they didn’t talk about it again.

Over that time, Pat was having more and more dreams. He seemed to dream about things that had really happened, so he kept asking Mitch whether things were real. They had an embarrassing conversation when one of Pat’s dreams wasn’t family friendly, because he had seemed to remember, in graphic detail, one of their more memorable nights together.

Thinking about it made Mitch miss his own Pat so much more.

***  
Mitch was beginning to give up hope that his Pat would come back. Six weeks had passed, now, and he still only remembered things that came to him in dreams.

Mitch brought it up when they were eating dinner one night. “Do you think you should go home to Sydney and see if being around your family is what helps you remember?” 

Pat looked crestfallen. “Maybe. But I’ve loved getting to know you, Mitchy. You’re amazing. I’m so jealous of this other version of me who gets to be your husband,” he huffed a humourless laugh. 

Mitch’s heart broke once more. It seemed to be doing an awful lot of that, lately.

“It’s not your fault, Patty. It’s mine. I’m sorry. I wish I never bowled that stupid ball,” he mumbled.

Pat frowned. “Mitchy, it was an accident. Please don’t feel guilty.”

They spent the next couple of days planning Pat’s flight and beginning to pack his belongings. It was ripping Mitch’s heart out. He barely knew what stuff in his house belonged to Pat, at this point, because he belonged there intrinsically.

The night before Pat left, Mitch was putting the last of the dishes away in the kitchen when Pat asked Mitch to do something they hadn’t done since his accident.

“Mitchy, will you sleep with me?” Pat asked nervously.

Mitch looked at Pat, eyes wide. “Pardon?”

Pat blushed furiously. “I don’t mean sex. Just in the bed. I know that’s what you’re used to,” he said gently.

“Of course, Patty,” he replied. He didn’t add that he was worried it might be the last chance he ever got to share a bed with Pat before he headed home to Sydney, maybe forever.

When they got into bed, Mitch was as nervous as hell. He didn’t want to overstep, but his body was reacting to having Pat so close. He was itching to snuggle into him, kiss him, hold him close and never let him go.

Pat seemed to make that decision for him. Once the lights were off, he made himself comfortable, snuggling into Mitch’s chest how Mitch’s Pat would. Mitch put his arms around Pat, tricking his sleepy mind into believing, for one innocent moment, that this was really his fiancé.

***  
In the morning, Mitch was awoken by the feeling of kisses being pressed into the back of his neck and down his back. He hummed appreciatively, turning to face Pat, kissing him. He remembered a moment too late, eyes snapping open, and pulled backwards, horrified.

“Pat, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I-“ he scampered backwards on the bed, putting distance between him and Pat.

“Mitchy, what the hell are you on about?” Pat asked with a short laugh, looking at Mitch quizzically. “We don’t have training ’til this afternoon. We have time.” Pat put a hand over Mitch’s chest to calm him. 

Mitch shook his head. “I’m sorry, this is wrong. If you don’t have his memories then it feels wrong to-“

“What? Are you feeling okay?” Pat asked with concern, placing the back of his hand to Mitch’s forehead to check his temperature. As Pat did so, he noticed his hand was bare, and he frowned. “Baby, where’s my engagement ring?”

“You took it off a few days after the accident, remember?” Mitch mumbled, confused. Pat hadn’t called him the affectionate term since the accident. 

Pat looked at him blankly. “What accident?”

“Patty, are you serious? Don’t play with me, this has been hard enough-“

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pat mumbled, hurt. 

Mitch shook his head, confused. “Pat, your flight is today, we need to get you organised.”

“But we have training today, what flight? What are you talking about?”

Then something clicked. For just a moment, Mitch allowed the hope to bloom in his chest. 

“Tell me what you said to me after I broke my wrist last summer,” Mitch said. 

Pat frowned, confused by the odd question, but answered anyway. “I told you it was extremely stupid but we would face the consequences together,” Pat recalled. 

A lump rose in Mitch’s throat. “Is it really you?”

“Baby, I’m so sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Pat worried. “Why are you upset? Talk to me, Mitchy,” he coaxed.

“Patty, six weeks ago we had a training session and I was bowling at you and we were laughing and…” Mitch closed his eyes, hurting.

Pat frowned, encircling Mitch with his arms and kissing his forehead. A tear ran down Mitch’s face. It had been so long since he had received that kind of gentle affection from Pat.

“It’s okay, keep going, I’ve got you,” Pat reassured gently.

Mitch took a shaky breath before he continued. “You… you didn’t wake up. You were in hospital overnight and they told me-“ his voice broke, “they told me you might have amnesia.” 

Pat was alarmed, and Mitch interlaced their fingers as he continued. “When you woke up, you didn’t remember who I was,” Mitch explained, heartbroken.

Pat made a choked noise. “No,” he mumbled.

Mitch nodded. “You were worried about going to school. You said you remembered being 17. You’d forgotten the last ten years,” he continued.

“Mitch,” Pat breathed, horrified. “I lived like that for six weeks?”

Mitch nodded, another tear escaping his eyes. Pat wiped it away with his thumb. “I missed you so much every day and you were right in front of me,” he admitted.

“Baby, that must’ve been so awful for you,” Pat said gently. Mitch couldn’t believe it - Pat was more concerned about Mitch than himself, even though he was the one who had suffered amnesia. “I can’t remember anything from that day onwards,” he admitted. 

“I thought I’d never get you back,” Mitch whispered.

Pat looked sad, at that, hugging Mitch tighter and kissing his forehead once more. “I am so sorry, Mitchy. I can’t believe I put you through that.”

Mitch frowned. “No, it was all my fault, don’t you see? I was the one who bowled that stupid ball-“

Pat cut him off. “It was an accident. Don’t you remember what you said to me after I broke Shaun’s arm?”

“Accidents happen in cricket,” Mitch filled in. “But this was so much worse. I thought… I could have lost you forever,” he choked out.

Pat ran a hand back through Mitch’s hair tenderly. “Mitchy, listen to me. I forgive you. It was an accident. All that matters is that we’re here, now, together,” he said gently.

“Except now you’re leaving me,” Mitch pouted.

A look of confusion flickered across Pat’s face.

“Your flight is in three hours,” Mitch told him.

Pat shook his head. “Let’s cancel it. There’s no way I’m leaving you right now.”

A wave of relief washed over Mitch. He had Pat back, and he was keeping him. The thought was too much, and more tears fell from Mitch’s eyes.

“No, baby, don’t cry, we’re okay. Everything is okay. Let’s cancel the flight, find my ring and have the most lazy day ever,” Pat suggested. “I’m not leaving your side all day. You’re going to get so sick of me,” he teased.

Mitch finally cracked a smile, at that. “Promise?”

“I promise, Mitchy. Thank you for taking care of me when I wasn’t myself,” Pat said gently, kissing the corner of his mouth.

That wasn’t enough for Mitch. They had kissed once in six weeks, and that was the accidental one this morning. Mitch shifted in Pat’s embrace, placing his hands either side of Pat’s face to kiss him firmly. They both melted into each other. The kiss tasted salty, but it didn’t matter. Mitch had Pat back, at last. And he was never, ever letting him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on this AU!


End file.
